More than a decade ago, I received a birthday present in the form a “Chat Pack,” a small plastic container filled with glossy cards meant to serve as conversation starters. I brought them along on our 14-hour family road trips, brightly posing questions to my beleaguered family.
The last time I broke out the chat pack was when I drove with two friends to Boulder, Colorado in the summer of 2020. I remember posing the question: “If you could have 50 pounds of anything other than money, what would you want?” and feeling disappointed when one of my traveling companions strategically (and unimaginatively) answered, “Saffron,” planning to profit from the spice’s exorbitant retail price of $5,000 to $10,000 per pound.
Still, it gave me insight into how and what he thought—and I’d like to facilitate that community here. Today, I’m giving the discussion thread a try.
Today’s topic: Rail against the fun fact
I’ve always hated the icebreaker: “Tell us a fun fact about yourself.” It puts you on the spot and forces you into a performance that feels disproportionately high stakes for an initial introduction. Suddenly, a name and a fun fact are all this new group of people knows about you.
My dad, an oboist, has a great fun fact: his name, Christopher S Raphael, is an anagram of both “I help sharp orchestra” and “harsh orchestral pipe.” (He wanted me to clarify that he “help[s] the orchestra avoid excessive sharpness. Not help them be sharp.”)
I do not, however, have a go-to fun fact, so I always feel pressured to come up with something on the spot, and the best I can ever do is something along the lines of, “I have never had a cavity,” which, in addition to being decidedly un-fun, kinda makes everyone hate me.
How do you feel about the fun fact? Do you have a great one that makes people remember you? A terrible or wonderful fun fact-related experience? Do you have a proposal for an alternative icebreaker question?
I am staunchly anti-fun fact. For a while, I tried to be an uncool (but cool by way of being uncool) person by telling people I was on the varsity Spell Bowl team in high school, usually accompanied by a quip about how it was the only thing I was ever varsity for… needless to say I retired that “fun fact.” Now I live in fear of that ice breaker and sweat profusely as I try to think of one.
I personally like ice breakers that use a grid of different memes/images and ask you to say which one you think you are. Or a gradient of banana ripeness or coffee darkness/lightness and pick which one you like. Something that gives parameters and levels the playing field between people who have legitimately cool fun facts and *ahem* varsity spellers…
Wait, we can talk to people again? Guess that means the "fun fact about today's face mask" is out.
I concur with the "fun fact" disdainers, both because I'm not fun (although I DO like facts) and having to remember glib giblets has never worked out well. Consider an alternate approach: When they ask for a "fun fact," give them a question instead (the more outlandish, the better if appropriate for the audience). Not only does it turn the effort back on the person who asked, but it also buys the introverts in the crowd a little more time to come up with a response... or, conversely, find something that's very interesting across the room to become engrossed in.
Besides, people (usually) love to talk about themselves, which distracts them from talking about you.
I too am anti-fun fact, or maybe I just hate being put on the spot. Currently my fun fact is that I'm a reformed google chrome tab hoarder (did you know there's a 500 tab limit?) but I used to keep a note on my phone of silly things that have happened to me for these occasions. I want my fact to be humorous, but not embarrassing to the point where I'll be judged or laughed at. It can't be something too 'cool' because then everyone might expect me to be a cool person and everyone will end up disappointed.
I once had a teacher ask about the best meal we'd ever had, which was a great ice breaker & so interesting to hear what quantifies "best" (the actual food, the place, the people, etc.) (The best meal I've ever had, or rather the one I long to experience again, was a picnic dinner eating my favorite sandwich on a perfectly warm spring evening. It was a great sandwich, but what made it the best meal was the friends on my picnic blanket.)
Mar 11, 2022·edited Mar 11, 2022Liked by Kate Raphael
Hm I think for me it depends on the situation. If it is a more informal/social thing, I don’t mind a fun fact (hot take) because it can lead to conversation and people ask follow up questions etc. But in a work or formal setting when we are just going to ask and move on it feels so strange and as Kate put it, transactional.
Like many of the commenters and for similar reasons, I dislike the fun fact icebreaker (but am very here for facts!). Having to suss out what will pass as "fun" with the group you're in, specifically share about yourself, balance saying something interesting/memorable with saying something over-the-top/braggy.
One of my worst experiences with this icebreaker was when I was invited last minute to a friend of a friend's birthday picnic. Since she was the common denominator, she suggested sharing fun facts. As the birthday person, she started. Then, with her boyfriend to her left, she decided she would try and come up with a fun fact for him too. I thought it would stop there. Instead, I sat in deep uncomfortableness as she both introduced and thought of a fun fact for each person, one by one. People were clearly uncomfortable as she was thinking of facts for them, and most did not seem very pleased with what she came up with (perhaps because of how they thought the prescribed fact would be perceived). She only stopped speaking for others when she reached me, because we had only met once before.
With that in mind, I much prefer "What would be your X-list superpower?", which can be done to varying scales, X being A, B, C, D. Typically I describe the scale like this:
A - legit superpower -- flying, laser vision, ect.
B - not as powerful as A, but net good -- I can control my caffeine levels (so am always perfectly caffeinated) or I can make a good dish of baked ziti on demand.
C - as or less powerful as B, but net neutral -- I can always fall asleep no matter how much caffeine I consumed or I can always make a good dish of baked ziti, if I have the ingredients.
D - as or less powerful as B and C, but debatably net neutral to net bad/chaotic -- I can perfectly control the speed or direction while driving, but not both at the same time. Or I can make a cup of coffee on demand, but have no control as to how strong it is. Or I can make baked ziti on demand, but the quantity is random.
I think it can give really interesting insight into how people think and what they value -- ie what area of their life does the superpower gravitate towards and how does the power improve that area.
2. I don’t want people to know what *I* think is fun about myself, because it makes me feel like I’m being smug, and I don’t want to come off as smug
3. I am afraid people will think that the very few fun facts about me are stupid/weird, and i don’t want to come off as stupid/weird
I guess what it boils down to is that your CHOICE of fun facts to reveal says more about you than the facts themselves, and I don’t want to feel like I’m being psychoanalyzed by this room full of strangers
Here's my fun fact: I've never missed a single Academy Award show since they began TV broadcasting. The reactions I get when I tell people that are priceless! Now I watch them so I don't break my record. If I've seen one or two of the current movies it's a lot,
As does about everyone, I also despise icebreakers, though I can recognize that they can serve a purpose. And I agree about preferring ones where an individual can choose how much they want to reveal about themselves to the group. Therefore, my favorite icebreaker question is "if you could have anything come out of your pointer finger, what would it be." (accompany it by a super hero-esque pointing of your finger towards the middle of the circle if you are presenting the question.) Possible answers I have heard: pizza, sunshine, beer, time.
Sometimes ice breakers do, sometimes they just make things icier and more awkward. Two Truths and a Lie can be more fun, but all these exercises usually make my funbrain capacity freeze (ice breaker, after all). However, working Amtrak and sleeping behind the engine in a common crew car, and a night of drinking port in a Jesuit monastery on a dare, have served me well in a pinch.
I actually like the fun fact, as it's isn't personal (I hate "tell us about yourself" when meeting new groups.) As long as it's actually FUN! and isn't about me, I'm cool with it!
Some Fun Facts for your next ice breaker:
1. The moon has moonquakes, just as the earth has earthquakes.
2. The "National" in "National Hockey League" refers to Canada, not the US.
3. Penguins and polar bears have never interacted, as penguins live on the south pole and polar bears on the north.
My go-to fun fact: When I was twelve, I knocked out one of my front teeth waterskiing. Purposefully chosen because it makes me sound both more adventurous and free-spirited than I actually am, and as though I have a less cautious self-regard than I actually do.
I love the gradient idea, as well as recreating the good v evil/lawful v chaotic chart with random subjects.
Mar 11, 2022·edited Mar 11, 2022Liked by Kate Raphael
Icebreaker sessions are their own special kind of hell.
No, I do not want to tell a room full of strangers what kind of ice cream I would be (and why), thankyouverymuch.
At work, when we’d have to travel for training, they’d ask us our name. What station we worked at, and how long we’d been there. Easy. Then someone decided that was too hierarchical, and it devolved into the vapid discourse most of us love to hate.
I prefer "two truths and a lie" to a single fun fact, because you get to exercise some creativity in coming up with a good lie. Either way, this kind of thing is always awkward in the context of a room full of strangers that you don't particularly care about (first day of class, for example) but can be fun when there are people you're willingly getting to know ( like on a first date). My friend David is excellent at drawing people out, and he always poses questions like this in terms of storytelling. For example, "Tell me a story about the person in your family who you're most competitive with."
I am staunchly anti-fun fact. For a while, I tried to be an uncool (but cool by way of being uncool) person by telling people I was on the varsity Spell Bowl team in high school, usually accompanied by a quip about how it was the only thing I was ever varsity for… needless to say I retired that “fun fact.” Now I live in fear of that ice breaker and sweat profusely as I try to think of one.
I personally like ice breakers that use a grid of different memes/images and ask you to say which one you think you are. Or a gradient of banana ripeness or coffee darkness/lightness and pick which one you like. Something that gives parameters and levels the playing field between people who have legitimately cool fun facts and *ahem* varsity spellers…
My icebreaker question is forever “what is your death row meal” - everything I care to know about someone begins and ends with food and doom
Wait, we can talk to people again? Guess that means the "fun fact about today's face mask" is out.
I concur with the "fun fact" disdainers, both because I'm not fun (although I DO like facts) and having to remember glib giblets has never worked out well. Consider an alternate approach: When they ask for a "fun fact," give them a question instead (the more outlandish, the better if appropriate for the audience). Not only does it turn the effort back on the person who asked, but it also buys the introverts in the crowd a little more time to come up with a response... or, conversely, find something that's very interesting across the room to become engrossed in.
Besides, people (usually) love to talk about themselves, which distracts them from talking about you.
I too am anti-fun fact, or maybe I just hate being put on the spot. Currently my fun fact is that I'm a reformed google chrome tab hoarder (did you know there's a 500 tab limit?) but I used to keep a note on my phone of silly things that have happened to me for these occasions. I want my fact to be humorous, but not embarrassing to the point where I'll be judged or laughed at. It can't be something too 'cool' because then everyone might expect me to be a cool person and everyone will end up disappointed.
I once had a teacher ask about the best meal we'd ever had, which was a great ice breaker & so interesting to hear what quantifies "best" (the actual food, the place, the people, etc.) (The best meal I've ever had, or rather the one I long to experience again, was a picnic dinner eating my favorite sandwich on a perfectly warm spring evening. It was a great sandwich, but what made it the best meal was the friends on my picnic blanket.)
Hm I think for me it depends on the situation. If it is a more informal/social thing, I don’t mind a fun fact (hot take) because it can lead to conversation and people ask follow up questions etc. But in a work or formal setting when we are just going to ask and move on it feels so strange and as Kate put it, transactional.
Like many of the commenters and for similar reasons, I dislike the fun fact icebreaker (but am very here for facts!). Having to suss out what will pass as "fun" with the group you're in, specifically share about yourself, balance saying something interesting/memorable with saying something over-the-top/braggy.
One of my worst experiences with this icebreaker was when I was invited last minute to a friend of a friend's birthday picnic. Since she was the common denominator, she suggested sharing fun facts. As the birthday person, she started. Then, with her boyfriend to her left, she decided she would try and come up with a fun fact for him too. I thought it would stop there. Instead, I sat in deep uncomfortableness as she both introduced and thought of a fun fact for each person, one by one. People were clearly uncomfortable as she was thinking of facts for them, and most did not seem very pleased with what she came up with (perhaps because of how they thought the prescribed fact would be perceived). She only stopped speaking for others when she reached me, because we had only met once before.
With that in mind, I much prefer "What would be your X-list superpower?", which can be done to varying scales, X being A, B, C, D. Typically I describe the scale like this:
A - legit superpower -- flying, laser vision, ect.
B - not as powerful as A, but net good -- I can control my caffeine levels (so am always perfectly caffeinated) or I can make a good dish of baked ziti on demand.
C - as or less powerful as B, but net neutral -- I can always fall asleep no matter how much caffeine I consumed or I can always make a good dish of baked ziti, if I have the ingredients.
D - as or less powerful as B and C, but debatably net neutral to net bad/chaotic -- I can perfectly control the speed or direction while driving, but not both at the same time. Or I can make a cup of coffee on demand, but have no control as to how strong it is. Or I can make baked ziti on demand, but the quantity is random.
I think it can give really interesting insight into how people think and what they value -- ie what area of their life does the superpower gravitate towards and how does the power improve that area.
I hate fun facts for three reasons:
1. Very few facts about me are fun
2. I don’t want people to know what *I* think is fun about myself, because it makes me feel like I’m being smug, and I don’t want to come off as smug
3. I am afraid people will think that the very few fun facts about me are stupid/weird, and i don’t want to come off as stupid/weird
I guess what it boils down to is that your CHOICE of fun facts to reveal says more about you than the facts themselves, and I don’t want to feel like I’m being psychoanalyzed by this room full of strangers
Here's my fun fact: I've never missed a single Academy Award show since they began TV broadcasting. The reactions I get when I tell people that are priceless! Now I watch them so I don't break my record. If I've seen one or two of the current movies it's a lot,
As does about everyone, I also despise icebreakers, though I can recognize that they can serve a purpose. And I agree about preferring ones where an individual can choose how much they want to reveal about themselves to the group. Therefore, my favorite icebreaker question is "if you could have anything come out of your pointer finger, what would it be." (accompany it by a super hero-esque pointing of your finger towards the middle of the circle if you are presenting the question.) Possible answers I have heard: pizza, sunshine, beer, time.
It's an easy to duck/fun to ponder question.
Sometimes ice breakers do, sometimes they just make things icier and more awkward. Two Truths and a Lie can be more fun, but all these exercises usually make my funbrain capacity freeze (ice breaker, after all). However, working Amtrak and sleeping behind the engine in a common crew car, and a night of drinking port in a Jesuit monastery on a dare, have served me well in a pinch.
I actually like the fun fact, as it's isn't personal (I hate "tell us about yourself" when meeting new groups.) As long as it's actually FUN! and isn't about me, I'm cool with it!
Some Fun Facts for your next ice breaker:
1. The moon has moonquakes, just as the earth has earthquakes.
2. The "National" in "National Hockey League" refers to Canada, not the US.
3. Penguins and polar bears have never interacted, as penguins live on the south pole and polar bears on the north.
My go-to fun fact: When I was twelve, I knocked out one of my front teeth waterskiing. Purposefully chosen because it makes me sound both more adventurous and free-spirited than I actually am, and as though I have a less cautious self-regard than I actually do.
I love the gradient idea, as well as recreating the good v evil/lawful v chaotic chart with random subjects.
Icebreaker sessions are their own special kind of hell.
No, I do not want to tell a room full of strangers what kind of ice cream I would be (and why), thankyouverymuch.
At work, when we’d have to travel for training, they’d ask us our name. What station we worked at, and how long we’d been there. Easy. Then someone decided that was too hierarchical, and it devolved into the vapid discourse most of us love to hate.
Also: Mint chocolate chip, of course.
I prefer "two truths and a lie" to a single fun fact, because you get to exercise some creativity in coming up with a good lie. Either way, this kind of thing is always awkward in the context of a room full of strangers that you don't particularly care about (first day of class, for example) but can be fun when there are people you're willingly getting to know ( like on a first date). My friend David is excellent at drawing people out, and he always poses questions like this in terms of storytelling. For example, "Tell me a story about the person in your family who you're most competitive with."