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Taking that red light as an omen was relatable. I was in a similar relationship, until she left to train for a new job. As I watched the plane taxi away from the gate (this was pre-9/11. I'm old). Something in me knew it was over. My guess is she was in her seat thinking the same thing. We coasted along for a while, but in the end it was on autopilot.

I loved your husk analogy. For me, I've always likened it to molting. Our lives are lived in seasons, and we slowly transition from the old ones to new. I'm typing this as I lookout the window at my son's truck (a kid I would've never imagined having on that day in the terminal) in a state 1800 miles away from where I once lived. I truly believe that real growth happens during those liminal stages, though it's hard to admit in the moment.

Will Boston always "be there?" You bet. So will your favorite meeting place. But the things around the intersection might be totally new when you go back. You'll know exactly how to get there, but might not recognize the things you see on the way. That's okay, too.

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Gosh, I wish I could write like you!! I had my first long-term relationship in my twenties. I felt so adult being in college and being in love. But the timing and the person weren't right for me. There was always so much more to see and do before settling down. Now. I'm truly settled and longing for more adventure in my mid-life, empty nest stage. I'll never recapture that 20-something, everything is new feeling. But discoveries still abound. Now I just have age and wisdom that have smoothed out my edges. Life is a book full of chapters...

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For what it's worth, thank you so much for transmuting the pain of loss into such a beautiful piece of writing! Life is so unpredictable sometimes. I can relate to finding someone you think will be the one, but it's funny how just a year later my perspective on that relationship has completely shifted. When you find the strength to carry on, you're often surprised by the new things that come your way. I'm excited for you to greet the new as you make space for it in your life :)

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deletedMay 27, 2022Liked by Kate Raphael
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