In "real life" I work for an airline. I had a long post written out, but it felt like I was overwriting your story, so I just want to make a couple of points instead:
A lifetime of shows and working on a flight line has me in the same situation you're facing. I also perform annual audiograms for my coworkers. EVERYONE comes in looking for a definitive answer, even if it's just "everything looks good."
I (and countless others) are right there with you. Masks and a world full of Plexiglass have robbed us of some of the hacks we'd relied on to compensate.
Mostly, I just want you to know that you're not alone. It's easy to feel isolated, even if logically we know better.
Good luck to you and I hope you get another opinion from someone who is a better observer and listener. So much in life is our instinct. We encounter so many people who are "experts" and we are supposed to trust them. We don't have to be audiologists ourselves to be able to tell when ours isn't listening. Finding a great doctor sometimes takes a while.
Great piece. I hope things work out and you’re able to navigate this.
I’ve learned how much I relied on looking at people’s mouths to hear what they’re saying. With masks, I turn my ear to them and don’t look at all. I connected with the Annie Dillard quote in that way: looking away to finally see.
In "real life" I work for an airline. I had a long post written out, but it felt like I was overwriting your story, so I just want to make a couple of points instead:
A lifetime of shows and working on a flight line has me in the same situation you're facing. I also perform annual audiograms for my coworkers. EVERYONE comes in looking for a definitive answer, even if it's just "everything looks good."
I (and countless others) are right there with you. Masks and a world full of Plexiglass have robbed us of some of the hacks we'd relied on to compensate.
Mostly, I just want you to know that you're not alone. It's easy to feel isolated, even if logically we know better.
Good luck to you and I hope you get another opinion from someone who is a better observer and listener. So much in life is our instinct. We encounter so many people who are "experts" and we are supposed to trust them. We don't have to be audiologists ourselves to be able to tell when ours isn't listening. Finding a great doctor sometimes takes a while.
Great piece. I hope things work out and you’re able to navigate this.
I’ve learned how much I relied on looking at people’s mouths to hear what they’re saying. With masks, I turn my ear to them and don’t look at all. I connected with the Annie Dillard quote in that way: looking away to finally see.
I want so desperately to make sense of my world, and when I fail, I flounder.