It always baffles my mind how much time people are willing to waste on hating others. There are so many more valuable and interesting things they could be doing instead.
I'm sorry you had to endure that, but I have a feeling you came out of it stronger, so there's the silver lining I guess.
Let me start with a couple of easy softballs (both honest questions):
1. Re: "Queer haircut" this was used derisively when I was growing up. I assume that's still true, or has it been co-opted by the LGBT community?
2. Stick-and-poke tats: Another thing from the early 90s I didn't realize was still at thing. Is it? Lots of "ZOSO" and VW logos on people my age.
As for the article itself:
I'm an avowed leftie, but find the woke mob exhausting and tedious (often both). It's a crowd hellbent on applying higher and higher levels of orthodoxy and then eating it's own over the smallest infraction. For a group that prides itself of calling out every last thing offensive or violent, they sure do a good job of treating each other like shit. IMO, /that/ is actually harmful.
I also have to believe that much of the ire directed at you was (at some level) due to jealousy. Twitter is awash in the crab-in-a-bucket mindset, and you wrote right past that. You are/were in a healthy relationship, trusted your partner enough to have him cut your hair, and were comfortable enough to share it all with world. I know you acknowledge that in the essay, but it's worth repeating. It's also worth saying that as another internet rando, I salute you for it. All of it.
P.S. Old town Portland holds fond summer memories for me. Thanks for the trip down memory lane on this sub-zero morning!
Hey Kevin--thanks for the questions and thoughtful response.
1. Yes, "queer" has been largely co-opted by the LGBT community as something of an umbrella term, and many people self-identify as queer. Some certainly still consider it offensive when used by straight folks though.
2. Stick and pokes are still a thing! I started doing them a few years ago (I use real tattoo needles and ink, but really just tattoo myself and my friends).
Appreciate all your input here. It can be really awful to be on the receiving end of the backlash. A friend wrote to me that she heard in a podcast with Adrienne Maree Brown that cancel culture comes from strong patriarchal and religious beliefs because they demand we see our leaders as perfect and without flaw. Thought that was an interesting perspective, though sometimes the "crab-in-a-bucket" mindset is enough to drive folks to be cruel, patriarchal and religious structures aside. The anger of the Twitter mob is indeed exhausting.
I’m sorry that happened. Being the object of such vitriol must have been terrible.
To be queer and visible is unfortunately risky and we don’t have the luxury of speaking our peace without people butting in to correct us. I hope you keep writing about your experience. There are plenty out there who need to hear it.
Great write-up. I remember listening to that episode of Ezra Klein show and feeling the heaviness of that experience. I am sorry that happened, and thanks for being brave enough to share it with us all.
It always baffles my mind how much time people are willing to waste on hating others. There are so many more valuable and interesting things they could be doing instead.
I'm sorry you had to endure that, but I have a feeling you came out of it stronger, so there's the silver lining I guess.
Let me start with a couple of easy softballs (both honest questions):
1. Re: "Queer haircut" this was used derisively when I was growing up. I assume that's still true, or has it been co-opted by the LGBT community?
2. Stick-and-poke tats: Another thing from the early 90s I didn't realize was still at thing. Is it? Lots of "ZOSO" and VW logos on people my age.
As for the article itself:
I'm an avowed leftie, but find the woke mob exhausting and tedious (often both). It's a crowd hellbent on applying higher and higher levels of orthodoxy and then eating it's own over the smallest infraction. For a group that prides itself of calling out every last thing offensive or violent, they sure do a good job of treating each other like shit. IMO, /that/ is actually harmful.
I also have to believe that much of the ire directed at you was (at some level) due to jealousy. Twitter is awash in the crab-in-a-bucket mindset, and you wrote right past that. You are/were in a healthy relationship, trusted your partner enough to have him cut your hair, and were comfortable enough to share it all with world. I know you acknowledge that in the essay, but it's worth repeating. It's also worth saying that as another internet rando, I salute you for it. All of it.
P.S. Old town Portland holds fond summer memories for me. Thanks for the trip down memory lane on this sub-zero morning!
Hey Kevin--thanks for the questions and thoughtful response.
1. Yes, "queer" has been largely co-opted by the LGBT community as something of an umbrella term, and many people self-identify as queer. Some certainly still consider it offensive when used by straight folks though.
2. Stick and pokes are still a thing! I started doing them a few years ago (I use real tattoo needles and ink, but really just tattoo myself and my friends).
Appreciate all your input here. It can be really awful to be on the receiving end of the backlash. A friend wrote to me that she heard in a podcast with Adrienne Maree Brown that cancel culture comes from strong patriarchal and religious beliefs because they demand we see our leaders as perfect and without flaw. Thought that was an interesting perspective, though sometimes the "crab-in-a-bucket" mindset is enough to drive folks to be cruel, patriarchal and religious structures aside. The anger of the Twitter mob is indeed exhausting.
I’m sorry that happened. Being the object of such vitriol must have been terrible.
To be queer and visible is unfortunately risky and we don’t have the luxury of speaking our peace without people butting in to correct us. I hope you keep writing about your experience. There are plenty out there who need to hear it.
Hey Kate,
Sorry that you are hurt by what others had done and said. :( Sending you hugs. And this emoji 🐣 (I don't know, it's cute, hope it'll bring a smile.)
Glad we resonate ♥️
Great write-up. I remember listening to that episode of Ezra Klein show and feeling the heaviness of that experience. I am sorry that happened, and thanks for being brave enough to share it with us all.