Perfectionism in whatever form it takes (e.g. ED) is very tough to break. There is a constant argument between head and heart. Plus breaking the labels people/family have put on you is difficult--the skinny one, the heavy one, the smart one, the funny one...To thine own self be true is a great quote but hard to live up to. Thanks for sharing. You do not have to have ED to relate.
Thank you for your words! I've read all your posts but I feel compelled to leave a comment to let you know that (as cliche and gross as it sounds), you are not alone and I'm in the same (sushi) boat as you - I'd love to bury my eating disorder brain in the dirt in Boston and move elsewhere and start brand new, as someone who's never thought once about calories and proteins and carbs and fat, or grapple with what to eat for breakfast/lunch/dinner/snack because if I ate over the allotted amount of calories for one meal the whole day would be ruined, or run another loop around the Charles just to burn off more calories and earn my meal even though my shin splints are yelling at me to stop, or wait until the clock struck 12:00 to eat lunch (because eating lunch at 11:58 would be completely absurd!), or someone who sees food as nourishment and energy instead of a number on the scale. I am alongside you in your journey and I hope that this is a race that you will win (or at least, beat me in!).
I understand what you feel. My body has gone through so many physical ailments, that the only thing I feel I control is my weight. I have panics that I will even be a pound over what I deem is appropriate. If I feel stuffed, I work out. It’s amazing what the mind can do.
"diets = discipline, exercise = virtue, fat = bad" is a spot-on diagnosis of our culture. Very well written!
Beautiful introspection. You are undoubtedly helping many in sharing this journey
Thank you so much for sharing your struggle.
It’s funny what we imagine people are thinking. We might find they’re trying just as hard to fit in.
A self confession, a relatable personal story. Strikes a note in my heart.
Thank you for sharing this extremely personal journey.
As someone who loves you dearly, I’m so glad you’re playing the disco out loud 💓
Perfectionism in whatever form it takes (e.g. ED) is very tough to break. There is a constant argument between head and heart. Plus breaking the labels people/family have put on you is difficult--the skinny one, the heavy one, the smart one, the funny one...To thine own self be true is a great quote but hard to live up to. Thanks for sharing. You do not have to have ED to relate.
Thank you for your words! I've read all your posts but I feel compelled to leave a comment to let you know that (as cliche and gross as it sounds), you are not alone and I'm in the same (sushi) boat as you - I'd love to bury my eating disorder brain in the dirt in Boston and move elsewhere and start brand new, as someone who's never thought once about calories and proteins and carbs and fat, or grapple with what to eat for breakfast/lunch/dinner/snack because if I ate over the allotted amount of calories for one meal the whole day would be ruined, or run another loop around the Charles just to burn off more calories and earn my meal even though my shin splints are yelling at me to stop, or wait until the clock struck 12:00 to eat lunch (because eating lunch at 11:58 would be completely absurd!), or someone who sees food as nourishment and energy instead of a number on the scale. I am alongside you in your journey and I hope that this is a race that you will win (or at least, beat me in!).
I understand what you feel. My body has gone through so many physical ailments, that the only thing I feel I control is my weight. I have panics that I will even be a pound over what I deem is appropriate. If I feel stuffed, I work out. It’s amazing what the mind can do.